


Don't Worry

by JHyun33



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Character Death, Countdown AU, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-04
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-28 06:35:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10077662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JHyun33/pseuds/JHyun33
Summary: Minghao keeps telling himself he isn't scared of anything.





	

Minghao keeps telling himself that he isn't scared of anything. He has been through so much already in his nineteen years of living, has seen and done so much. Any other nineteen-year-old would envy him for the travelling he already did, for seeing places other can just dream of. Minghao likes to look back on how he used to be and what it made him.

It all comes from dancing starting at a young age, moving to Seoul due his father's work, being bullied in school for his terrible Korean, continuing dancing, getting friends and a lot more. He's proud of what he became. Sometimes he might be childish as his best friend Soonyoung likes to say, but he thinks of himself as very mature for his age.

 

But there is one thing that changes him a lot more than anything else.

Cancer.

In its early stage.

Diagnosed six months ago when the snow was falling on his shoulders and clouding the vision through his window from their apartment.

Of course, it is hard dealing with it first. But he manages to get along with it. "We can do this. We can fight and cure it.", he says to his parents, who still cry every time they visit him in the hospital. Minghao was put in a program for young people with cancer, where they get special treatments such as a self-help group. They talk about their feelings and what's on their mind, but Minghao always leaves the room depressed thanks to the depressing stories he hears.

Until one day another boy becomes his roommate since his old one is moved to another hospital for more radical treatment.

And Yun Jeonghan steps into his life.

Two years older and was expecting to go to college, but cancer ruined his plans as well.

And suddenly the depressing stories turn into laughing conversations about school and friends. Stupid jokes and late night chatter fills their room.

Jeonghan is open about anything and everything in his life. He talks about his coming out and the first time he kissed a boy and his first boyfriend, even talks about his first time. He encourages Minghao, who felt confused about his own sexuality since the beginning of high school, to try it out by them casually kissing.

Kissing turns into making out, which turns into moments that are rather not shared in public and rushed moments in their rare alone-time.

 

Jeonghan comes back from his chemotherapy, tired and worn out. "I feel like my hair will fall out.", he says in a still playful tone. Minghao grins as he puts down his book. "I'll order you a wig on amazon, if that happens." They laugh, but Jeonghan drags himself over to the younger's bed and he seems a bit more serious.

"Can I ask you for a favor?", he asks.

"Do you want me to order something? Laptop is still on.", Minghao says and points at his Macbook laying on the desk. "No, something...else." The strange tone makes the younger sit up. "Something's wrong?", he asks.

Jeonghan pulls up the sleeve of his left arm. "Please, look at my countdown. Don't tell me the numbers, just look at it. I haven't seen it in a long time." The other stares into his dark eyes, searching for anything. "Are you-"

"I don't know. Just look, please."

"Under one condition." Jeonghan bites his lip in worry. "That is?"

"You look at mine. I haven't looked at it since I got diagnosed and my parents haven't seen it as well.", the younger says while pulling up his own left sleeve.

Jeonghan nods. So he takes the other's arm and keeps it close to his eyes to read the numbers.

Minghao does so, too.

 

Minghao has stopped counting his chemotherapies. He's just happy whenever they are over and the burning chemicals leave his skin. Looking at Jeonghan snoring in his bed he realizes how fast time has passed. The older's hair is shorter now, dark circles always framing his eyes.

So Minghao brushes his teeth and slips into the other's bed next to him. The warmth is welcoming and he slings his arms around the body.

Waking up to a drooling Jeonghan is one of the best things he can imagine.

It gets even better.

The nurse is checking his meds and checks his pulse, suddenly a smile spreading over her face and it's probably impossible to wipe it off. Minghao gives a confused grin, then looks at Jeonghan when she leaves. "Is there something on my face or what makes her so happy?"

Jeonghan gives him a warm smile and comes over. "Want me to tell you?", he asks.

"Sure."

The older grabs his arm and taps on his pulse. "Your countdown prolonged."

 

With every day Jeonghan's smile towards him grows bigger and brighter just as the nurses' and doctors'. Minghao tries not to look too happy, even though he should.

_He is beating cancer!_

It might not be over yet, but he's on his way.

His parents cry, but this time it's out of joy.

 

Minghao keeps telling himself that he isn't scared of anything.

He's beating a nearly incurable illness, there is nothing in this world that can drag him down anymore.

So one day when Jeonghan reenters their room with a beanie on his head he feels his stomach drop for the first time in a _very long_ time.

 

Ordering something on amazon has never had his heartbeat racing so fast.

But just one day later Jeonghan wears the long, light-blonde wig and he kisses Minghao as a Thank You. And when they kiss it never feels different.

The feeling of being right floods the younger and his arms wrap around Jeonghan's shoulders. He feels hands on his hips and himself being pushed onto his bed.

 

"By how much did my countdown prolong?", he asks when all they do is staring at the ceiling. Jeonghan turns to him with a toothy smile.

"Don't worry.", he says.

When Minghao reaches for his arm to look at the countdown he is called for chemotherapy.

 

Minghao has never been so scared in his life.

Time is slipping through his fingers like the sand from a beach.

He's holding onto Jeonghan's hand like he might slip from his grasp as well.

The older is stroking his wet hair from the shower Minghao just took, slightly pulling at the roots. There is no room for jealousy of him not having real hair anymore, it's a waste of time for them to worry about stupid things like that.

"You know what?", Minghao asks as he traces a finger along the defined face contours of the older.

"What?"

"I just wanted to tell you that for a long time now... I love you."

Jeonghan smiles and kisses him. "That is nice to hear. I love you, too."

"Hyung?"

"Hm?"

"I'm afraid of seeing my own countdown." For the first time Minghao admitted a fear out loud and it feels incredibly good to get it off his shoulders.

Jeonghan smiles a bit brighter.

"Don't worry.", he whispers like he always does.

A nurse comes in to check on them. But as soon as she looks at Minghao's countdown her smile drops and there are tears in her eyes before she abruptly turns and leaves.

The younger's pulse is quickening and he presses himself against Jeonghan's chest.

"Hyung, I lied. I'm scared. I'm scared of dying, I'm scared of losing everything I love.", he whispers.

"That's okay, because I never lied.", the other whispers back holding his left arm.

Minghao does so, too. "Don't worry.", the older coos.

And the younger closes his eyes listening to his boyfriend's chuckle.

"Do you want to know how many years are on your countdown?", Jeonghan asks.

"Yeah."

 

00:000:00:00:01

 

Silence fills Minghao's ears while tears fall from his eyes.


End file.
